Well, things do sure come and go quickly around here. I went for an 8 week sonogram and got the news I pretty much felt in my heart. I no longer have identical twins (and I really do feel ok about that) but I now have one heart beating strongly in me and some fin like appendages moving around. I really did have a feeling. Now that I have that answer, I actually feel like I have the pregnancy I'm supposed to have. I immediately felt the dread leave me, and I began to feel hopeful. My fear of miscarriage is almost gone, even though this is the point that my last baby stopped growing. God, I hope I don't have to eat my words, but I have a really good feeling about this baby. It measured 3 days ahead of my calendar day, it's heart was beating so strongly, and it was wriggling around strongly. So I guess I feel strongly. At least I'm trying to feel strongly.

I saw the little blob that was left of my other baby. It was exactly the same size it was 2 weeks ago. I got a chance to "say goodbye" to it. My hope it that the life that was there will strengthen the baby that is meant to be. I do feel sad for this baby that it won't ever get to know what belonged to it in the beginning of life. Boy or girl, it should have had a mirror image. That said, if I hadn't had that 6 week sonogram, I never would have known there was twins in the first place. does that make it better? Hell if I know. But I do know that I'm ok.